Santacon 2005

Here's me at Santacon which was held in London on Saturday 17th December!

Because I got asked this so many times during the day, I've prepared the following FAQ. Seems a good way to start off this blog entry:

The Santacon FAQ

• What is Santacon?
  Santacon is a convention for Santas. To be eligible to attend you must wear a full Santa suit. This is the only rule.
• Who are all these people?
  Buggered if I know. Never met any of them before in my life!
• How did you find out about this?
  On the internet. I stumbled across the whole Santacon concept when I was searching for information on "flash crowds". We certainly created our own flash crowd at Nelson's Column on Saturday. There is a website www.santacon.co.uk which contains links to additional photos that were taken on the day and on previous years, and a yahoo mailing list (uksantacon) which is where I found out about the specifics of the meeting point on Saturday. If you fancy joining in next year, here's the link to the group:
  
  
  Click to join uksantacon
  
• What organisation are you with?
  None. Santacon is not a work's Christmas Do. Apart from being a member of a mailing list to find out about this event there is no other organisational arrangement for the santas.
• Are you doing this for charity?
  No. This is just purely for fun.
• (And my favourite - from a german lady on a bike - "What are you demonstrating against"?
  Nothing. We were chanting as we were walking down the street but all we were chanting was "What do we want? - Christmas! When do we want it? - Now! That's hardly demonstrating is it?

The day started by meeting at the Shakespear's Head which is a Weatherspoon's Pub in Holborn at 12:00 noon. I arrived at the meeting point early (incognito with my Santa costume in a carrier bag) with the intention of eating something to line my stomach before the consumption of any alcohol. As I was ordering my food, the first two Santas arrived and had the same idea - Santa had a fried breakfast.

In the next hour or so the Santas trickled in individually or in small groups and this created bemused looks from the other patrons - they realised something was up - but couldn't quite figure out just what was going on. Eventually the sea of red grew and I figured it was now time to don my own santa suit. It was only a santa hat, santa jacket, skirt and a belt. The skirt didn't seem very substantial so I kept my black dress on underneath which later on resulted in me being called "Goth Santa". A big "Hi" to Ruth Santa with the camera whom I met in the ladies.

The sea of red grew even bigger. Soon the "normal" pub goers were much in the minority and to be honest there wasn't anywhere for them to sit or even stand even if they had wanted to brave the santa-infested pub. I got out my camera to take some pictures, but to my dismay found that the rechargable batteries were flat, BUM! but so many other people were taking pictures that there was going to be plenty posted on the net so I didn't worry too much. All the pics that I've posted on here are from other Santa's online photo albums.

The Santas left the Shakespear's head at approximately 1:15 and stopping traffic as they crossed the road headed off down the street to the Grand Lodge of the Freemasons. They wouldn't let us in the door!

We next walked down "Drury Lane" (there was no muffin man) and to the Skating Rink set up inside the grounds of Somerset House. Some of the Santa's vaulted over the barrier and did "Santa on Ice" impersonations before being escorted off the ice by the ice marshalls. Then approx a third of the santas (including me) did an impromptu conga around the rink and into the cafe until a spoil sport security guard close the door and refused to let any more into the cafe area.

After leaving the ice rink, and stopping of at a few pubs on the Strand the Santa procession headed towards Trafalgar Square and Nelson's Column (see picture at the top of this blog entry). It was a really surreal experience being a part of the santa-throng. People's reactions were strange, when they first spotted the first couple of santas they would stare at your strange costume as if you were nuts, then when they realised just how many Santas there were they would spontaneously emote, smiling, laughing or grabbing for the camera phones or digital cameras. The number of people we passed talking on their mobiles about the amazing Santa invasion was beyond count.

I arrived at Trafalgar Square towards the tail end of the Santas and was atonished to see so many already climbing up Nelson's column. The pedestal base was already a sea of red. I went and stood in front of the column like many of the other lady santa's were doing. I didn't want to climb up on the bottom plinth as this was as tall as my head. Thousands of people were taking pictures of the spectacle. I'm very surprised that none of those pictures made the news as we did have reporters following us around all day too.

After singing several carols on Nelson's Column the Santa's started to disperse the square, heading towards Picadilly Circus where we posed for more pictures and sung more carols on the steps of Eros.

We invaded the Virgin Megastore at Picadilly. The tall black security guard really didn't want to let us in, but 300+ Santas changed his mind and he just stood there in the door talking into his walkie talkie and shaking his head in disbelief as we filed in past him. The Santas went up the stairs and did a conga around the CD section (some asshole santas deliberately knocking CDs off the shelves). As we left Virgin, there was a police van parked outside and the police dogged our tales around London for the following several hours to ensure that there was no further trouble.

Next we headed up to Leicester Square and were delighted to find a small fairground therein. The santas went on all the rides, I rode the carousel. There was a flying swing ride, and that was very fun to watch with Super Santa flying around on a swing in the classic superman pose with his red cape billowing behind him.

From Leicester Square, pausing at the Hog's Head where the Santa's refueled on yet more alcohol - a lot of us stayed out on the pavement here as the pub wasn't big enough for all of us, there was quite a bit of horseplay outside the pub, I can remember a Michael Jackson santa moonwalking in front of a black cab in the street!

New Santas were joining us now as the original crew dimished from over-indulgence in alcohol. We approached Soho and walked along the market street. We came across an animatronic santa outside one of the shops, and all of the santas bowed down to him when he danced and then sung carols at him. The shop owner was in tears of laughter.

We left Soho and stopped at a nearby eatery that sold Pork BBQ Ribs, it sounded very tasty, and the management claimed that they could serve 300 people in less than an hour, I didn't believe this claim though because they only had 75 seats in their downstairs restaurant! So I skipped the ribs, and made a small detour around the corner into Oxford Street proper and visited the Macdonalds that was there. During the course of the day I'd forgotten that I was wearing the Santa suit, it had just become a normal part of my clothes, but that few minutes of exposure as a lone santa brought so many stares from the Oxford Street shoppers. In MacDonalds this old man approached me and said "you're dressed like Father Christmas", yeah! Duh!...... I didn't bother answering him, just thinking that he didn't realise there were another 300-400 of us just around the corner. Imagine the shock he'd get when he saw that lot!

After finding food, the Santas then proceeded to invade Oxford Street. Yes, on the last Saturday before Christmas you can imagine how busy it was, and there we were 400 Santas walking up the middle of the street. There were piles of horse crap in the road (from the police horses that were trying to marshall us up the street), everyone was walking past pointing out the "Rudolph Poo".

As we walked up the street, Yomas (the guy we were following around the town because he had the loud hailer that was keeping us all together), stopped at a bus stop. We all crowded around to see what he was staring at. On the floor were two abandoned Santa suits. "Man Down", he yelled into the hailer.

We then left the Oxford Street area and proceeded to get on Tubes to St Paul's Cathedral. Even the underground driver got into the spirit and came across the tannoy saying "I hear there's a good chance you might see Santa tonight!".

We left the tube system with some Santas running up the down escalators as we left the underground at St Pauls and assembled on the steps of St Pauls to sing yet more carols. I remember seeing a passed out Santa on the steps at this point.

From St Paul's we proceeded down over the Millenium Bridge (which I'd never seen before), to assemble outside the Tate Modern Art Gallery. It was quite a spectacle when I looked back over the bridge to see the hundreds of Santas proceeding over the bridge behind me, with the lit-up spectable of St Paul's Cathedral in the background behind them all.

There was a little riverside fete going on outside the Tate Modern, and a small stage with a team of chorists singing as we arrived over the bridge.

Suddenly they found themselves in the late stages of "crack up" and struggling to carry on singing as about 30-40 santas were dancing right in front of them. Then we kind of hijacked the choir and made them sing our own carols. I think my favourite one was the "Twelve Days of Christmas", which went like this:

The Twelve Days of Christmas
(remembering to emphasise 5 double gins, as in 5 golden rings)
On the first day of Christmas my true love bought for me:A lager for 99p
On the second day of Christmas my true love bought for me:2 rum and cokesand a lager for 99p
...
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love bought for me:

• 12 Tequila slammers
• 11 Hundred Pipers
• 10 Shots of Absinthe
• 9 Remy Martins
• 8 vodka tonics
• 7 Cheap dry sherries
• 6 Bacardi Breezers
• 5 double gins
• 4 Smirnoff Ice
• 3 real ales
• 2 rum and cokes
• and a lager for 99p!

Next we entered the Tate Modern and the Santas explored the ice-like art exhibit that was in the basement as well as sliding on the sloping floor. A few Santas climbed up the art, fell of it and broke some of it and at that point we were asked to leave. Yep, we trashed the Tate! lol

We went along the river bank to the Founders Arms and had a couple of drinks in there. Next we left and got back on the tube to a place called Olds Street where aparently there was a pub called The Foundry. Whilst we were waiting at the tube station a load of Santas sat on the tube platform - most were not capable of standing by then - sitting there singing the bawderised version of the Twelve Days of Christmas [above]. Some members of the public were taking photos of us and giving us looks of disgust probably thinking that if we'd drunk all that we were singing about, it would probably explain our condition.

When we got to the Foundry, I was one of the first in there as I was desperate for the toilet at that point, but it was already packed out with "normal" pub goers. The place looked a bit of a dive, so I left the rest of the Santas at this point in the evening and crossed the road to get what I thought was an amazingly cheap chinese takeout. £2.70 for a box of food, and I could pick what I wanted, they even had seaweed. I next hailed a cab and went back to my B&B. The next day after I sobered up I realised that that cheap chinese had actually cost me nearer to £20 when I included the cab fair back to the hotel, but it was probably safer than trying to find my way back to Paddington on the underground. I get lost on there when I'm sober!

All in all a great day was had by all!

I'd like to say hello to Ruth Santa, Green Faced Santa with Tentacles, Biker Santa, Santa Chris from Brighton, Glitter spreading Santa, Chuckie Santa and finally Barbary Santa!

Stranded in the Scillies

I've just arrived back in the office from an overnighter in the Scilly Isles.

It's been a really fun, but eventful 36 hours, and best of all for the most part it was a work's outing, so it was FREE!

Our journey began yesterday morning at 8:15 with a lift to Lands End airport. The weather was very bad with drizzle, low laying cloud and fog, so the planned jaunt on the mini 8-seater Sky Bus was put on hold because of the weather. In the end we were shuttled back down into Penzance to catch the Scillonian Ferry.

The Scillionian has a very bad reputation, as a luxury cruise liner it certainly aint! In the end though, we didn't really have any choice it was the boat or no outing. Jason and Ray met us at the ferry port and we all boarded the ferry. The motion of the boat wasn't too bad. I thought it was quite funny trying to stay on my feet instead of staggering around like a drunkard. Actually the best place to stand (sitting down turned out to be worse) was right next to the bar so you could hang on to it. Hayley and the girls played cards and got progressively greener until Hayley ran to the loo and spent the majority of the rest of the voyage in there being sick. Linzi joined her too. Ray thought it was very funny to take the mickey out of their misery, until he too succumed and blew chunks too!

We arrived at midday. I think that was the thing that I hated most about the journey, not the journey itself, just the time wasted getting there. Nearly 3 hours to cruise 35 miles. Not for the first time, I really wished that I'd bought my stitching to do, but this was just supposed to be a quick jaunt on a plane followed by a pub crawl around St Mary's so I didn't think I'd have had the time to do any, so I didn't take it with me.

After leaving the port, we went to our respective B&Bs and dropped off our overnight bags, meeting back at a pub called the Bishop and Wolf for lunch. We then went on a mini pub crawl while the heavens opened up outside. When it cleared up we climbed up the top of Garrison Hill to join Phil and Bill who had hired a tennis court for the afternoon. My boss the twat decided to have a go at tennis and proceeded to play a volley all the time whilst talking on his mobile. He actually played better shots while he had it stuck to his ear than after he'd lowered it. Where's the sense in that?



Bored of Tennis, we played a game of Rounders up on the field at the top of the hill. Boys vs Girls. Of course the lads won in the end, but we did manage to draw the first game, which was a bit of a fluke. I didn't help out much in the second game, because I missed the first few rounds while squatting behind a fern having a wee. (Well we had all been drinking).

After Rounders the Girls had to buy the Boys a celebratory round and then the drinking recommenced. At least it wasn't me that was spilling the pints this time:



We were all a bit laggered by the time we sat down to our dinner at 8 in Dibble and Grub. I really enjoyed the food which was very tasty, but some of the lads complained about the lack of carbs, i.e. chips! Typical. Things started to go downhill afterthat. Phil and the twat started throwing Ice Cream around, people got a bit shirty about paying the bill so I left and went and stood outside. For one moment it looked like a fight was going to start kicking off. Ooops. My boss the twat then decided to go for a paddle, while I tried to follow Phil's example by riding a bike that was propped up against a wall outside the restaurant. I promptly fell straight off it again.

We went back to another pub, and things got a bit bleary after that, and about 10:30 I was about to pass out asleep so I went back to my B&B and zonked out. I kept my roommate awake with my snoring - apparently!

The party continued without me in the boss's B&B where they trashed the sitting room, leaving Phil passed out asleep on the floor between two half drunk four pint takeaway jugs of Cider and Lager. He wasn't even staying there! Linzi awoke Phil about 7:15 and made him go back to our B&B. He was there standing on the doorstep at 7:30 calling his roommate Bill to let him in because he didn't have a key.

Breakfast was very nice, and passed without incident, but even Bill couldn't finish his breakfast. We got a rip off skybus taxi (£3 per person) up to St Mary's Aerodrome and proceeded to wait for our flights home. But there wasn't any. The crap weather from yesterday continued, so we sat and waited for 2 hours for news of when we could return.

Eventually the Sky Bus put on an extra helicopter and we boarded this to go home, (but not all of us as there wasn't enough room). So I got to have a helicopter ride. Cool. Despite the weather it was a fun trip, just very loud.



So now, I'm sitting here at work, blogging, because I'm still hung over and can't really do a lot else. I do feel really guilty though because 5 of our party are still in St Mary's waiting for another helicopter back. We thought that they would be on the next 'copter following us. But not so. There is talk of them having to catch the 4:30 Scillonian Ferry back - I hope it doesn't come to that because two of them spewed on the way out there!

Planes Trains and Automobiles (and boats)

I guess everyone must have seen the movie "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" with Steve Martin and John Candy. My journey home seemed like a reinactment of that!

A wonderful holiday came to an end and things started going wrong as soon as I left the transfer coach at the airport and there was a rumor of a two hour flight delay, as I got through airport security in the departure lounge I learned that the rumour was true. I decided to wait out the two hours by sitting in an outside cafe, enjoying a coke and watching the other planes take off and land. I was a bit concerned because if the delay was any longer than two hours I would have wasted the booking I'd made at a Travel Inn to stay at Gatwick before starting the long journey home to Cornwall the next day. As it was now 6:30 pm in the evening, it was far too late to cancel the reservation, even if I had had the telephone number - which I didn't - so they were going to charge me anyway.

Then there was an announcement over the intercom system of a flight back to Bristol - I suddenly had an idea, why not try switching my flight to this one? I headed back inside to see if I could find a Thomas Cook rep and suggest this to them - ok if I would have had to pay a supplement, but it would have been worth it if I could have gotten back home this evening and avoided the long haul back on the train from Gatwick. As I went back inside to search for a rep - I met up with Jayne.

Jayne was trying to make a phone call to let her husband know that the flight was going to be delayed because he was supposed to be picking her up at 12:30 at Gatwick. She couldn't get through to him at first and kept missing him and the airport payphone swallowing euros didn't help. In the end we got chatting. Jayne was worried about her husband not getting any sleep that evening because she lived in Southampton, a two hour drive away from the airport which meant that he probably wouldn't get home until about 5:30 and had to be up for work at 6:30 the next day - so I suggested that she stay in the Travel Inn room with me and get a bus or train home the next day. We got on the phone to her husband and he thought this was a sensible idea too. We still had time to kill at the airport so we had a burger king and then the airline finally gave us a boarding gate number. So everyone queued up and queued up and we ended up standing there for like half an hour. We gave up standing in the end and went and sat down and eventually they started letting people on the plane. Jayne and me weren't sitting together, I was quite fortunate to have three seats to myself so I pushed up the arm rests and tried to stretch out and have a nap.

I'm not sure if I actually got off to sleep, which was interrupted by the serving of the very unappetising in-flight meal. I had one bite, not good! so I put it to one side in disgust! I still don't know if I slept properly as I was a bit cold and there were no pillows on the aircraft!

Finally got off the plane at 2:45 am. I don't do this early hour and I was really bad tempered. Found the coach station and phoned the Travel Inn to send their courtesy bus. But the guy on the phone spoke very bad English and couldn't even spell my name right and claimed that he couldn't find my reservation. I said "well have you got rooms?" he said yes, so I said, "well send the bloody bus then"!

When we got to the Travel Inn (and it's getting on for 3:30 am by now) he still can't find the reservation - but a colleage - an english girl checked my credit card details and says, you are booked in at another Travel Lodge and have already been charged to stay there. I asked if we could just stay where we were for the night but they said that that wasn't possible either, and offered to order us a taxi to the other Lodge, so I said, hold on a minute, I've just had to pay £5 to use your so called "courtesy" bus to get here, why should I have to pay a taxi as well? In the end the bus driver agreed to drop us off at the other lodge - so we got our cases back on the bus again!

The driver dropped us off on the road at the other lodge and there was me and Jayne, dragging our cases across the grass in the dawn light at 4:00 am. We just cracked up laughing at this point. We checked into the room and basically just crashed out for a few hours. Before we went to sleep, I joked to Jayne that this was turning into "Planes, Trains and Automobiles", and told her that I didn't want to find her pants in the bathroom sink the next morning.

We both set our alarm clocks for 8:45 and went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to the sound of dragging cases, and some woman screaming at her idiot child. I checked the clock, it was about 8:35, so I got up to use the bathroom before Jayne woke up. It was lucky that I had woken up on my own accord because neither of our alarms went off. Mine was a brand new travel clock and I don't know if I had set it correctly in my dog-tired state, and Jayne's old fasioned ticking alarm clock had just stopped.

When I came out of the bathroom, I woke Jayne up and went through to Reception to see about getting a taxi back to Gatwick so we could both get our public transport connections. I had to rush Jayne to hurry up in the end so we could get back to the airport as my train was leaving for Reading at 10:03 and I didn't know where I was going to find the station when I got to the airport.

Jayne and I swapped contact details in the back of the taxi on the way to the airport, she seemed very grateful for me to have taken her in last night. We said our goodbyes and I headed off to find the station. After a few false starts I was on the platform waiting for the train.

The journey to Reading passed without incident. I had about a 50 minute wait for the Penzance train, so I went to Subways and got a footlong sandwich (it's a long way to Penzance), there was this guy on the platform who kept staring at me, he had the most amazing pale blue eyes, and I guess he was interested in me, but after seeing me scoffing the footlong he kinda disappeared. I guess my eating habits would put anyone off! lol

Then this Israeli sat down on the bench next to me and tried to chat me up. For Chris Sakes - piss off! I sort of tried to ignore him, but the train was late. Over 20 minutes late. It eventually arrived about 12:30, and I had to walk up the platform quite a way on the guards recommendation to miss the first class section, the train arrives, and then there is the Israeli helping me put my case on the train. I guess they can't all be gun-wielding maniacs.

Once on the train the journey home should have been plain sailing, for usually once you are on the train to Penzance you are coasting all the way home, no matter how many hours it takes. BUT! The train made three unscheduled stops. The first to swap engines to the backup because the first wasn't working very well. The second time was because there was an electrical fault and the third time was at Newton Abbot Rail Depot to swap the faulty engine. They swapped the engines over... but then we are still sitting there... and finally the driver gets on the intercom and says we aren't going anywhere at the moment because the brake is stuck. At this point the entire trainful of passengers have reached the advanced stages of crack up and everyone burst out laughing!

The train eventually limped into Plymouth where it sat, and sat, until they finally decided to cancel the train completely. This very kind copper called "Bob" who was sitting opposite me for most of the journey helped me take my heavy suitcase up and down the stairs to platform 4 to catch the next train which was due in very shortly as this train was running nearly TWO HOURS LATE by this stage. Then the stationmaster put on the intercom that the next train is going to arrive at platform 6, so it's back into the lifts down to the underground tunnel between platforms and back up to platform 5 and 6 where I'd just left only to find when I got up there that that last announcement had been a mistake and it was coming in at platform 4 where I'd just been, so it was back into the lifts and the tunnel again. What a song and dance chirade this was turning out to be.

The first Penzance train that came in got deluged by people trying to get on it, so much so that it got delayed at the station for at least 20 minutes while the guards moaned at everyone for crowding. In the end it left and me and Bob managed to find a spot for my case in the hallway outside the buffet car.

Bob got off at Par (heading for Newquay) and eventually I got a seat in the quiet carriage. The good thing is that I should get my money back or some of it at the very least on the ticket price because the train was so late it qualified for compensation. In the end I arrived home at 7:30, 26 hours and fifteen minutes after I had left my hotel in Lanzarote!

What a journey home!

Lanzarote Holiday Snaps

I'm back from Lanzarote. Here's a picture of me on a camel in the Timanfiya National Park.

Another holiday snap. I've uploaded the rest of my photos onto my webshots account here.

Legolas I Ain't

Before leaving the hotel on Thursday afternoon, I decided to kill time by having a go at the archery contest that was going on. This bruise was the result.

It looks far worse than it is - believe me. It stung a bit at the time, but that was it, I'm amazed at the size of the bruise.

I did it on my first attempt with the bow and twanged the bowstring against my arm before letting fly with the arrow, which missed! Actually in 9 attempts I hit the target only 4 times, but still scored 150 points.

Out of the 5 women having a go at the archery, three of them, myself included injured themselves in this way. Apparently women have got an extra bone in their elbow which makes archery very difficult and you have to angle your arm slightly differently to avoid hitting the soft flesh, if only I'd known. lol.

I Wish I was.... Snowy

Snowy is a little cat that is living in the grounds of the Papagayo Arena Hotel that I stayed at. Every day she begs at the lunch tables outside the Snack Grill for pieces of hamburger and hotdog and of course she gets them. She seems really friendly too. I don't know if it is good for her, but I have seen her lapping water from the hotel pools.



Snowy is also pregnant. I don't know how long it will be until she has her kittens, but she's getting a bit big now. After I discovered her, I asked for a lunch bag every day - whether I wanted to eat the contents or not - just to get the tin of tuna that was inside it to feed to Snowy. Once I even saved her some roast chicken from the restaurant - you are not supposed to take food outside - and she enjoyed that immensely!

The hotel, as I've mentioned before on this blog is All Inclusive - so there's food a-plenty going to spare. I guess this illustrates one of the most adaptive features of the feline species - where else to raise your offspring but next to an abundant food source! When I left that wonderful hotel - I sorely envied that little resident cat. I didn't want to leave.

On The Tharsis Bulge

For those of you not familiar with Mars, the Tharsis region is the main volcanic region on the planet. There are three long dorman supervolcanoes there, including the largest volcano in the solar System Olympus Mons...

When I stepped off the plane and sat on the transfer coach, I thought I was on Mars. There are volcano cones and calderas everywhere. I thought Lanzarote only had a few volcanoes in the Volcano National Park, not so, they are bloody everywhere. There´s got to be at least 20 - 30 separate cones that I´ve seen at least. There´s one just outside the hotel even! I may go for a hike and see how far I can get up it.

The hotel is wonderful and has exceeded my expectations and coming from a cynical person like me, that´s really saying something. Going all inclusive was a good idea - had a good night last night watching the hotel´s entertainment, and this morning, when I checked my purse - I still had money in it. Something that does not happen after a good night out in Cornwall!!!

I seem to be a bit ill fated with Sangria though. My first was swept away by the wind. The second got taken by the staff after I left the swimming pool area for 10 minutes to book an Excursion with the Holiday Rep. I´ll call him "Big Bob" and when I post a pic of him when I get back, you´ll see why! My third Sangria I actually managed to drink, and later on in the Canary Bar my fourth was tipped over by a toddler. Ho hum, but at least I´m not paying for the refills!

Better keep this brief as its a Euro for every ten minutes I´m using this machine.

Holiday Prep and Sexy New Stash

I fly out to Lanzarote tomorrow, so today I've got the day off work - packing, buying a couple of last minute things and trying to leave things here as tidy as I can before I go.

My new purchases consist of:

Tote Bag
I've been looking out for a stitching/beach tote bag for a few months now - I'm sick of my Tesco's "Bag for Life" lol. And would you believe it, the day before I'm due to go on holiday I find the exact one I want - with sequins too.

I am going on a Summer Holiday...

I'm pleased as punch because after a wasted weekend of trying, I managed to book a holiday to Lanzarote this afternoon, flying out from Gatwick next Thursday. Ok, so Gatwick's a way away, but I booked the same holiday that I wanted to go on this week when they wouldn't let me go at work - but for about a third less!

Only problem, it's all inclusive - and if you so have the desire you can eat and drink for 23 hours + a day. Will I be able to fit through the door when I get back? I'll let you know!

Oh, I'm going here:

Stitching Retreat Weekend

Got back late last night (I'm posting this Monday afternoon) from the Stitching Retreat Weekend in Milton Keynes which was organised by Jayne Hall of Jayne's Attic and Stitching and Stash.

I'm having a day at home to recouperate from the 8 hour journey back home - so I thought I'd do a little retro-blog posting (with pics) about the weekend.

The Journey Home

Judy Dixon's daughter, Louisa kindly gave Jane Fielding and myself a lift back to Milton Keynes station in her car. I'm glad that I arrived early because the trains back to London were running askew because of engineering works. If I had caught the 4:37, which probably wouldn't have turned up until 5 o clock, I seriously doubt that I would have made the 18:30 Paddington train out of London.

Jane was also pleased to have left earlier as she was able to catch an earlier train too. My journey back to London was without incident, although I nearly did fall asleep - I guess that the weekend was starting to catch up with me.

I arrived back in Euston and lumbered down with heavy bags was astonished to see how many people were milling around in the capital on a Sunday afternoon. I had to take the long route back to Paddington on the Underground. I looked for the walkway to the pink Hammersmith and City Line (which only means a few stops to Paddington on the tube), but couldn't find it anywhere so I took the longer route back via the Northern and Central line. The underground was completely packed, another reason why I hate london. I was getting a bit anxious about getting back to Paddington by 6:30 (because believe it or not - it's the last train to Penzance on a Sunday) because of the queues, but I made it with 10 minutes to spare - so I grabbed another Burger King Whopper Meal. Two in one weekend - I guess I was priviledged! lol

The train was on time and I scooted along the platform along with everyone else to get ahead of the crowd to grab an unreserved seat with a table. I got on the first available carriage - sat down and then noticed that I was in a Family carriage... ooops. screaming kids all the way? By then it was too late to find another table in another carriage as the train was starting to fill up.

I stitched some of the satin bag on the way home and then gave up with that. I got my gameboy out then got tired of that too. Then I noticed that the interconnecting door at the end of the carriage had been propped open and there were people milling about in there in huge green hats. They seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely. Pre-St Patrick's Day Celebrations for they got out an accordion and started doing an Irish Jig outside the toilet. Yes, a party outside the loo! lol Unfortunatley they got off at Taunton or I might have gone and joined them ;-)

The train was on time and pulled into Penzance at 0:05. What a long journey! But well worth it for a great weekend.

Masterclass 2: Satin Stitch Needlework Bag

On the second day we stitched this:

I had done some embroidery a very long time ago - my mother taught me to do some when I was about 10 but I've not touched it since - it was like I was relearning the whole thing again.

I think I got on better with this design, than that of the first day. I seemed to make quite a lot of progress on it:

As I'm posting this retro-spectively (it's actually Sunday 20th March), several of the others have now finished their embroidery. Debbie Mariotti has now finished her Spray and the bag.

Public Service Announcements

This was Jayne Hall on the return bus doing another one of her "Public Service Announcement" speeches to keep us all in line..... unfortunately after a bottle of wine I think it was Jayne who needed to keep herself in line, inflicting us to a drunken rendition of Old MacDonald's Farm. That was a very unusual farm, I've never heard of a farmer who farms Sea Bass, Lobsters, Lamb and lollypops before!

Jane f

For more pics, please see my Webshots album

Ursh

sandra and dawn

Kam Tong Garden

For Saturday's evening meal we went to the Kam Tong Garden Chinese Restaurant in Milton Keynes. Our journey there was somewhat eventful - or at least catching a ride there.

Jayne had booked an 16-seater mini bus to take us to the Restaurant from the Hotel - but the first transport to arrive was an 8-seater taxi - there were nine of us - but we started to cram in anyway. Then Jayne said to the aisan driver "I don't believe that you are insured to carry 9 people in there" so we all started to pile out. Then it turned out that this taxi guy wasn't the guy that she had booked after all, so some other guests took this taxi instead.

Then another multi-seater taxi showed up and the driver says 6 in here and another 3 in the car following. But Jayne was insistent that she had booked a mini bus so everyone got in and out of the cars again.

Then finally the mini bus turned up and we all got in and were off. Why all the other taxis and the mess? Well these other taxi companies were companies that Jayne had contacted for quotes, but they had never got back and confirmed the details with her. Their loss I guess - but as they weren't able to supply our exact requirements, then fool on them.

Our Menu:

Hors D'oeuvres

Satay Chicken
Tiger King Prawns
Capital Ribs
Prawn Toast
Spring Roll
Seaweed
Squid

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Szechuan Aromatic Duck with Mongolian Lamb served with salad, pancakes and Hoi-Sin Sauce

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Baked Lobster and King Prawns (in shell) in peppercorn salt

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The Main Course:

Yum Yum Bird's Nest (stir-fried spicy beef with vegetables)
Steamed Sea Bass with Spring Onion and Ginger
Chili Pork Peking Style
Sizzling Beef and Chicken fillet in Black Bean Sauce
Sweet and Sour King Prawns
Special Lotus Leaf wrapped Rice
Fillet Chicken with Lemon Sauce

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Ice cream or fresh fruit salad

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Coffee and mints

PHEW!!!!!

Jayne serving up our first course:

The Country Cross Stitcher - Stash Experience

Just down the road from the hotel was a needlework shop called The Country Cross Stitcher.


Jayne had given us all tempting £7.50 vouchers to spend in the shop and also had arranged late opening and a 10% discount with the owners. I was very good. I only bought what I needed, a packet of needles (I can't believe that I'd only brought one needle with me on this trip) a new pair or scissors (the kitchen scissors I were using didn't have a fine enough point for cutting the embroidery threads), a daylight bulb (I've lost my own lamp), a square clasp frame and my only little excess and a treat I allowed myself was a Mirabilia Chart of The Mermaid Queen (left).

I was mildly amused by watching the staff in the shop - the poor lady was literally run off her feet - kitting up this design for one person - kitting up that design for another person, and her husband just stood there watching, unable to help. He said he helped out in the shop by doing a little hoovering and cleaning - but he was a complete novice to cross stitch and stitching so didn't know what any of the stocks were or were located. After admiring all the stitched models hanging on the walls of the shop, I left the shop early with my new stash to give the others a little more space.

Lavender Spray (c) Judy Dixon

This is called Lavender Spray and it was the design that we worked on during the first masterclass:

It was the first time I've attempted anything like this. I was a complete newbie to Hardanger work and this type of embroidery as well. Judy Dixon and all the other's scoffed because I was going to use a wooden hoop to hold my stitching taught, claiming it marks the material - and they quickly lent me a square plastic frame instead - but just what is wrong with the hoops, I've used them all my stitching life!

I had to be shown the basics, like even how to cast on - only one thread so can't use the loop method. It was very strange stitching will all the different kinds of threads. Some of the variegated ones were quite nice and produced a neat effect, but I don't think they liked me calling them "wool", but that's what they looked like. lol

Anyway after a day's worth of stitching, and my first attempt at Hardanger, my Lavender Spay looks like this:

Haven't found time to work on it since. I probably wouldn't ever have tried stitching anything like this on my own, so it was good to try new things in a supportive teaching environment.

I really don't want it to become another UFO or WIP but I have other stitching that I want to finish first.